Pastor Jacque and Brian Lother
Jacque: Today we are talking about family and we are talking about all kinds of different ways to look at family. We're talking about us as children of our parents. No matter how old we are, we are a child of somebody. And then we are talking about us as children of God. And then we are talking about also— I just saw Mark. Hi Mark. Oh, I can get so distracted.
Brian: Squirrel.
Jacque: I know. I'm sorry. It's so nice to have you guys here. Okay. Back to where I was. I'm thinking about how we are parents to our children. I'm so grateful for my family. I just have to always say that I have two wonderful sons, BJ and Micah, two unbelievable daughter-in-laws, Jessica and Katie and four magnificent grandchildren, Cooper, Mazzie, Charlie and Finn. I'm so grateful for our family. And then you.
Brian: Oh, geez. Yeah. I'm the caboose.
Jacque: Without you, it wouldn't not be possible.
Brian: I'm the caboose, but that's okay. The caboose eventually gets there too.
Jacque: No, you are not the caboose. It's our first Mother’s Day without our moms.
Brian: It's a big change.
Jacque: They are still with us in our hearts. And so much of who we are is from our moms. But they are with Jesus now. They are having the best Mother’s Day ever, but I don't know that they celebrate Mother’s Day in heaven.
Brian: Yeah. They probably don't celebrate it the same way we do down here, but they are having a good Mother’s Day.
Jacque: Oh, it's so beautiful to think of the pure joy and pure love that they are living in and that we'll get to see them again. We'll be okay. So let's think of some words, Brian, to describe our— It's funny to be in this chair. I have look everywhere. I'll do my best. Let's think of some words to describe our wonderful moms. They were so loving.
Brian: I know your mom was very affectionate.
Jacque: So affectionate, lots of hugs.
Brian: Lots of hugs.
Jacque: They were caring, very kind. Remember how kind grace was.
Brian: Gentle.
Jacque: They both sacrificed like all moms do.
Brian: And they did what mothers do: they brought comfort to us.
Jacque: They were good communicators and they listened. They didn't just talk, but they listened.
Brian: And they were always concerned cuz they were always praying for us.
Jacque: They were always praying. They were always praying for us. Yeah. We were so blessed to have praying moms.
Brian: Nurturing.
Jacque: Yep. So supportive. They were so generous in every way.
Brian: Always encouraged us. No matter how terrible I preach on a Sunday, my mom would say that was a really good one today, Brian. Always encouraging.
Jacque: They were so accepting and so patient
Brian: And forgiving when we would not be the best kids.
Jacque: They were faithful, steady women, steady in their relationship to God and steady in their relationship to us.
Brian: There is a unique aspect about our mothers that I think demonstrated really how God is to us and that's, they always unconditionally loved us.
Jacque: Unconditionally loved us. I could really be a brat sometimes in my childhood and in my adulthood. I just got it in my mind that my mom needed to do something and she needed to do it this way. And I would try to control her and push her in her old years and she would just do her thing and smile. Before she died, I remember we had like three days together and nonstop. I just didn't leave her side. And we talked the whole time. She slept a lot, but we talked a lot. I said, mom, I'm so sorry that I was like, so controlling sometimes. She said, "Honey, you just always wanted to try to do the best for me."
Brian: She saw the best.
Jacque: She always saw the best. She always saw the best. We felt their love when they would tell us they loved us when they would hug us and kiss us, compliment us. They would encourage us. And then they would say nice things about us to other people
Brian: Yeah, I was perfect.
Jacque: We felt their love.
Brian: Although she was lying.
Jacque: No, no. She wasn't. All that love that is built into moms and dads, it comes straight from God. Pure parental love is such a beautiful picture of our relationship with our father, God, his love for us because we are his children. Over and over in scripture, we are called the children of God. I have to tell this funny story because before I had BJ, our first son— first of all, we weren't even thinking we were going to have kids because we were going to just be too busy in the ministry and we were going to save the world. Oh thank you God for overriding our stupidity. And I mean, all that we've learned from our kids. But anyway, a couple months before BJ was born, I just kind of got nervous and scared and I thought, how am I going to love this person that I don't even know for the rest of my life? What if I don't have what I need? What if I don't have enough? I started to get worried and I told my mom one day and in her sweet wisdom, she said, "Honey, the love comes with the baby." So I trusted her and then I experienced it because the moment BJ was born, I adored him and I haven't stopped.
Brian: But then you had another fear.
Jacque: Well then before Micah was born, I got afraid again. This time. I thought I love BJ so much. How can I possibly love another child enough? Will I love him enough? Oh, it happened again. I remember in my mom's words, “The love comes with the baby”. Same thing, I saw Micah and I adored him and I still do. That love came straight from God and there is plenty. There is enough to go around. It's from God. Think about it. Moms and dads, your baby is born and you give up so much of your time, your sleep, your energy.
Brian: Your freedom.
Jacque: Your brain sometimes, your creative expression. There is not time for everything. You give up so much of yourself and you do it most of the time with a big smile on your face, especially when you look into the eyes of that child that you created. It's worth everything to be a parent. It is. But parents are imperfect. They are human beings
Brian: And they are imperfect. How many can identify with that?
Jacque: Human beings are imperfect. Not all parents are able to show love, that pure love.
Brian: That God has for us.
Jacque: I'm going to tell you a story in a moment about my precious dad. He did not know how to love me. Here's today's crazy title of this sermon that Brian came up with, which is genius: God is the perfect parents. He is. You heard correctly. It's plural. God is the perfect parents. So let's talk about how we see God, our heavenly father and how we understand him. God is referred to as a male in the scriptures, but God is not a man,
Brian: Nor is he a woman, of course.
Jacque: And he is not a woman. God is a spirit. The Hebrew name for God, Yaweh, from Exodus 3 combines both the female and the male grammatical endings, yah is feminine and weh is masculine. All that is in God. Will you read John 4:24?
Brian: John 4:24. And the amplified says it this way: God is spirit, the source of life yet invisible to mankind. And those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth.
Jacque: God is a spirit. He wants to have a relationship with us. He wants to connect and communicate with mankind, so he reveals himself. And the first time he re revealed himself, he was a burning Bush to Moses.
Brian: I can just see Moses coming home, talking to his wife, and he said, I met God today. Really? What's he like? Well, he is a bush
Jacque: And he is on fire.
Brian: And he is on fire.
Jacque: We humans struggle to understand that whole concept of spirit. Images and metaphors were never intended to completely define God.
Brian: It just helps us to understand the aspects and the nature of God.
Jacque: Absolutely. But scripture gives human characteristics to God, trying to help us so we can understand him better and begin to see what he is like. But we only know two human options, male, female.` God is not a man, but he chose a masculine form in order to reveal himself to humanity. The scripture contains about 170 references to God as our father. And I did not count all the he, his and him in the Bible.
Brian: There are a lot of them.
God wants us to understand him so we can truly see his goodness, know his unconditional and immeasurable love for us. Trust him fully and love him the way he deserves. He wants that reciprocal relationship and love with us.
Brian: Basically, he wants to have a relationship
Jacque: He does with us. He does. But this is what is said: in our humanness, we have made God into the image of our life experiences and our own narrow understanding.
Brian: And sometimes if our life experiences are really bad, particularly with fathers or male figures, then it's a real difficulty at times for people to relate to God, especially in a way that God declares himself to us.
Jacque: Our concept of God is really shaped many times by the authorities in our lives. God is the ultimate author so it is natural to picture him after the authorities in our lives, like our parents, mostly our fathers, but maybe you just had a mother and that was the main authority in your life or perhaps a boss.
Brian: Or coach maybe.
Jacque: A coach. Yeah. But for me, because God was most always referred to in masculine terms, I guess I just figured I needed to relate to him the way I related to my dad.
Brian: And your dad was the main male figure in your life.
Jacque: Yeah. So this is where my mother's day story comes in, but I have to start by telling you about my dad. I loved my dad so much. He was a great man. I am not going to cry when I talk about this. I am not going to, he wasn't perfect, but neither is his daughter. He was not perfect, but he was so great.
Brian: When we were doing your dad's Memorial service, I remember one of the things I said was, Ted wore his flaws very clearly to everybody.
Jacque: He didn't try to hide them.
Brian: He didn't try to hide his flaws. He didn't try to hide his flaws, but he was a really kind man. And he came to know the Lord when he was in his early thirties before you were born, right?
Jacque: Yep.
Brian: He was a follower of Jesus, but he struggled.
Jacque: He struggled. Absolutely, because all of us, followers of Jesus still struggle. God is right there with us to help us through the struggle. But anyway, he did the best he could. I just heard the best quote from the late— I'm so sad. I have to say late Naomi Judd. I really loved the Judds. She died last weekend. She had a very sad life and I was listening to an interview this week of her. She said she and Winona worked through so many problems. They had so much therapy. They just had so much work to do. And this is what she would say: "If I would've known better, I would've done better." And I know that that's what my dad is saying to me today's that's right. But he was born in 1917, like during World War 1. Don't do the math. He grew up through hard times and in a difficult home situation. My grandpa left the family when my dad was very young, he came back when he was older, but the relationship was always in turmoil
Brian: I was also thinking about that too because when your grandfather left your grandmother, it really negatively impacted her and then she became really a bitter angry person too. So it wasn't just the abandonment of your dad's father, but then the angry, bitter woman or mother that he had. That just created a framework about how he learned about the main authorities in his life.
Jacque: Well, a framework of how he saw women. That was a good point. Thank you. There has even been healing in my heart as I've been preparing for this. He was born in 1917 and I usually called him daddy. Even as an adult, I called him daddy. I loved my dad. When I was a child and through a good share of my adult life, through his words and some of his actions, I never felt like he loved me. I never heard him say, I love you. That's my love language, words of affirmation.
Brian: And that wasn't his love language.
Jacque: It wasn't his.
Brian: His love language was—
Jacque: Acts of service. But I figured out as a child that I needed to do everything I could do to not be in trouble or not cause trouble, to always do my best to keep my daddy happy with me, so he wouldn't be upset because for sure when he was upset, I didn't feel like he loved me. He never expressed his love through words, which is how I hear love. But he did express his displeasure through words.
Brian: Isn't that interesting that he couldn't express his love through, but he would express his displeasure through words?
Jacque: So I always heard that I was very unloved.
Brian: Because your love language, one of your main love languages is words of affirmation.
Jacque: Words are so important to me.
Brian: Yeah. So important to you. And so the only words you ever heard from the main authority figure in your life was that you weren't good enough. You didn't measure up et cetera, et cetera.
Jacque: Yeah. Oh, you are all going to understand me so much better now. In my forties, that's when this book about the five love languages came out and it was so insightful. As I read it, I saw, oh, my word, my dad was showing me how much he loved me through his acts of service all my life.
Brian: He worked hard.
Jacque: He took such good care of our family. He supported us so well. And he provided so well. He worked so hard. So I started to hear his love in different ways through his hard work. So my dad loved me, but perception, our perception is our reality. And I still had never heard it. I still didn't feel that love. I would always show total love and respect to my dad. I knew my dad had to help me pick out who I was going to marry. And he did that. That was such a loving thing for him to do. He would say, don't even think about marrying that one or that one. And he loved Brian.
Brian: You know how I knew he loved me? Because he kept saying to you all through the years, "Don't you ever bring one of them long haired, hippies home to my home."
Jacque: And Brian had long hair and a beard.
Brian: I was a classical musician, so classical musicians have to have long hair because they played long hair music.
Jacque: And you had a beard.
Brian: I had a beard, but he loved me.
Jacque: Yep. He did. He loved me. I was always on my best behavior. Even as a woman to earn my dad's love. I always worked so hard. I wanted him to be proud of me. I wanted him to love me. When I was very young and I began to be aware of God without realizing it, I patterned my relationship with God, my father, after the relationship I had with my dad. I had to work hard. I had to be my best to earn God's love. I pretty much felt like he was kind of waiting for me to mess up. Even though I'd been in the ministry for a couple decades, this is really what was deep, deep inside me, like God was always disappointed with me and like just shaking his head. Parents, be careful of that body language. It speaks loudly.
Brian: No matter how much, how hard you worked and how great a job you did when you put your head on your pillow at night, it wasn't good enough.
Jacque: No. I thought I had to work hard to earn his love, but I could never do enough. Now I've done enough and God loves me. I never got there, so it was an endless battle. Don't you see the enemy coming in and just stirring it up. I know there are others here listening who have had this experience. I've talked to so many, many women through the years.
Brian: And men too.
Jacque: And men too, absolutely. I wanted to know and feel God's love for me. I wanted to be able to rest and relax in his love because the love of God is the foundation of our faith. When we really know how loved we are, we can rest and we can trust. I wanted that peace, that peaceful love. I would pray, God, show me your love. Help me grasp it. Help me, because I listened to so many sermons. And then one day the Lord really spoke to me and he showed me my mom's love for me. She was pure love. She was so good to me. She loved me so completely. I was far from perfect, but she loved me no matter what. She was so patient, she was so encouraging. She was for me. She only tried to see the good in me. I remember the day that I thought— that thought came from God. My mom loves me so thoroughly and so deeply; God must love me like my mom loves me. It was a huge revelation, a life changing revelation.
Brian: And it helped when you reflected back on the scriptures that said that God made both male and female in his image. There were characteristics of your mom that came forward in that. We'll get to that.
Jacque: We're getting there.
Brian: You read my mind.
Jacque: My heart and my mind opened up to God's love and the lies shattered. The lies began to shatter. I was able to begin to receive and to know such a deep love from God, a love that my mom modeled for me all my life. Brian came up with this point. My mom was a valid representation of God's love even though she was a woman. I grew up in this whole culture of women, men.
Brian: When we grew up, there was a phrase that a lot of men said when I was a child and that is "Well, that's women's work". Have you ever heard that? That's women's work, meaning it's less important and not as valuable. There has been even from the earliest time of history, prejudice against women, and there still is a prejudice even today against women.
Jacque: It's getting better.
Brian: It's getting better and we are grateful for that. But when I reflect on the life of Jesus, he honored women and actually so did the apostle Paul honor women in a culture that didn't honor women. And so for you to come to that understanding, God basically had to show you through your mom rather than your dad some of these characteristics of how God really is.
Jacque: God came to me through my mother's love.
Brian: He came to you through your mother's love. That's a really great way to say that.
Jacque: So here is an important verse for parents.
Brian: Ephesians six verse four says it this way: fathers don't exasperate your children, but raise them up with loving discipline and counsel that brings the revelation of our Lord. And really what is the revelation of Jesus Christ, who the father is and how much he is willing to give his life for us. And so this revelation of the Lord is about unconditional love. So fathers don't exasperate your children, and in your fathering demonstrate this revelation of who Jesus is.
Jacque: Parents are given the responsibility to show God's love to your children, making it easy for them to envision the father's love for them. The way we love our kids teaches them how to love themselves. We need the Lord, parents. God is the best parent because he loves like a mom and a dad. God is a person that means he has a mind, an intellect, a will and emotions and God communicates. He has relationships. He's a person and we are made in his image. We see all this as we read the Bible, because it's the history of God interacting with his creation. God created men and women in his image.
Brian: Here is that scripture that we just referenced moments ago, but Genesis 1:26 and 27 says it this way: then God said, let us make human beings in our image to be like us. God created human beings in his own image and in the image of God, he created them male and female. He created them.
Jacque: Just think of it. God formed. He's an artist. He formed a man.
Brian: Like clay.
Jacque: Yes, with clay, he formed his form and then he blew his divine breath into Adam. And then Adam was not complete; he needed a woman. So God took the rib from Adam and then used that, how we are one and used that to create Eve. And then he blew his breath into Eve.
Brian: And I think it's important for me to understand that I'm not one, but we are one. We are one. We as a couple completely can. If we live in a way that honors God, will really represent the Godhead, represent who Jesus is. So we have to recognize those unique traits and characteristics in each other.
Jacque: God created us to have a relationship with him and, and relationships with each other. And his love, I believe that that breath he blew was his love. He blew his love into us and that makes it possible. All the best strong and nurturing characteristics that are found in both genders, all these characteristics come from God. But dad and moms are different though. Aren't they? Mothers cuddle.
Brian: And fathers throw their kids up in the air and catch them.
Jacque: They bounce. And mothers are gentle.
Brian: And fathers like to wrestle with their kids.
Jacque: And mothers encourage equity
Brian: And dads encourage competition.
Jacque: Mothers say we are all winners.
Brian: We're all winners. Mothers give participation trophies and dads say there is only one winner. Right, John?
Jacque: Mothers encourage security
Brian: And fathers encourage independence. They are trying to raise their children to grow up and be responsible. And they would say to their three-year-old, "Why don't you just grow up?" Because we want them to be responsible so that they can become independent.
Jacque: But I just pick them up and hold them for a while.
Brian: Yes, you do.
Jacque: Mothers encourage caution and safety.
Brian: Yep. And we encourage our kids to push the limits of their play as fathers.
Jacque: It kind of sounds like a good balance, doesn't it? Men and men and women are different, but we are equal. We're equal in God's eyes. We are equal. We're both of equal worth to God. We approach life in different ways. Um, males and females don't need to compete, but compliment each other. We're both necessary and we are both important.
Brian: I think it's really important as we go through life for us to recognize as males and or females, that there is a time to cuddle and there is a time to throw your child in the air and catch him.
Jacque: Absolutely, because can you imagine just something that's all male, like a world of all males?
Brian: That would be—
Jacque: Scary.
Brian: Scary.
Jacque: Yeah. And can you imagine a world of all females?
Brian: That would be a nightmare. No, I don't know. At least, at least in my world it would be .
Jacque: Oh, well, if it was all females, you wouldn't be there.
Brian: That's why it'd be a nightmare. I wouldn't exist
Jacque: Can you imagine? Okay. We need it all in balance. And when something is in balance, it works better perfectly.
Brian: It works perfectly. Like our bodies, when they get out of balance, I always kind of think I need to eat more alkaline foods than acid foods because my body works better. It's more balanced. You had the illustration of a tire. If a tire is imbalanced, it buds down the road.
Brian: Yeah. It feels like you are hooked up to one of those old weight loss machines from the fifties with the belts at shakes all over the place.
Jacque: Not too many people know that.
Brian: Not too many people understand that, but I'm 71, so you have to put up with my illustrations,
Jacque: A balance of all the feminine and masculine characteristics together is needed for wholeness. Hey, in some situations, even the female has a few more characteristics of a man like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And the man is, you know what I'm saying? So it goes back and forth.
Brian: There is not a real definitive—
Jacque: There is not.
Brian: But generally speaking.
Jacque: Yes, generally speaking. The battle of the sexist happens when we take what our gender is best known for and then say that's the best thing.
Brian: But together—
Jacque: Together, we are the best. I have to applaud this young generation. Every generation keeps growing and the next generation gets up on our shoulders and they can see farther and they can get higher and do better. Think of how far parenting, fathering has come since the 1950s when raising the children was women's work. At least that's what I heard.
Brian: We all heard it.
Jacque: Back then, women's work wasn't as valuable as men's work. So we have gone so far. I want to especially just tell you about my sons, BJ, Micah. They are the most nurturing fathers. I see that in this young generation. I see Robert with his little kids. I see these young men. They even change diapers and feed children. I mean, wow.
Brian: Why did you look at me when you said that?
Jacque: Well, you were such a great father. You taught the boys to be such a great father.
Brian: Thank you.
Jacque: But he never changed a diaper and they would've starved if I wasn't around.
Brian: I would've starved.
Jacque: I know. I just taught him to successfully make a bowl of instant oatmeal.
Brian: I make my own oatmeal now.
Jacque: You do. Yay! I watched our sons, with their children and I'm so blessed and so proud of them. I'm so proud of them. They are always instructing and playing and encouraging our grandkids. When I watch my sons with their kids, sometimes I just get teary eyed, hearing their words of affirmation, their beautiful expressions of love and encouragement and confidence that they give to our grandkids. It really touches me. Parents are such an important part of the formation of how a child sees and loves himself and how they see and love God. Also to my boys, I want to thank you, BJ and Micah for valuing women. I see that more in this younger generation. Robert is becoming like a son to me. He has a value for women and BJ and Micah are always pushing me and helping to change those lies in my head about the limitations that are on my life, because I'm a woman. I appreciate that of our sons. Let's just close with a few scriptures and just meditate on the beautiful love of God, because it has been my prayer working towards today that we would all come no matter where you are in the spectrum of knowing and experiencing God's love, you would just come farther. There is no end to it. We can't know.
Brian: There is no limit to it.
Jacque: There is no limit. We can't know the love of God. Sometimes I hear in my head, oh, talk about something new because all you talk about is God's love. Well, I guess that's what I'm called to talk about. Because I guess we need to get all that we can. Psalms 86:15.
Brian: Psalm 86: 15 and 16 says, but Lord, your nurturing love is tender in general. When I read this, I thought to myself, the psalmist here is really grasping what, generally speaking, is thought of to be more, a feminine side of love than a masculine side, nurturing and tender and gentle. When you think of who's tender and gentle in your family, generally speaking, you went to your mom. When I fell down and I skinned my knee and I hurt myself, I wanted somebody with tenderness and gentleness. And my first words out of my mouth was mom. When I was afraid and I needed protection, what do you think came out of my mouth? Dad.
The psalmist says your nurturing love is tender and gentle. Then you are slow to get angry, yet so swift to show your faithful love. You are full of abounding, grace and truth, so bring me to your grace fountain. I like that expression. Bring me to your grace fountain so that your strength becomes mine. And this next line, I don't really see men saying this a lot: be my hero and come rescue your servant once again. Again, the Psalmist is really having an expression that is a little bit more on the feminine side than one would say the masculine side. And yet it completely represents the totality of who God is.
Jacque: That's from the passion translation, which is a wonderful translation of the Bible. They just had the New Testament and Psalms and Proverbs so far, but it's a wonderful translation.
Brian: Then Psalm 103 verse 8 through 14 in the message says it this way. God is sheer mercy and grace not easily angered. He's rich in love. He doesn't endlessly nag and scold nor hold grudges forever. He doesn't treat us as our sins deserve nor pay us back in full for our wrongs, for as high as heaven is over the earth, so strong is his love to those who fear him. And as far as sunrises from sunset, he has separated us from our sins. As parents feel for their children, God feels for those who fear him. He knows us inside and out, keeps us in mind that we are made of mud.
Jacque: I really like how the message Bible says he doesn't endlessly nag and scold. I thought that's kind of like a negative side of a little more, which could be thought of as a female thing.
Brian: Maybe.
Jacque: Nagging, it seems I've done a bit of that in my life. But it's so beautiful. God doesn't hound us. It's so good.
Brian: And then one more in Isaiah 49 verse 15. Can a mother forget the infant at her breast or walk away from the baby that she bore? This is a rhetorical question that virtually is resounding. No, a mom can't do that. But even if mothers do forget, I will never forget you, never that. Look, I've written your names on the back of my hands. That is the extent, the nature of the love of God.
Jacque: Misty, you tattoo your kids' names on you. Just think of that. I bet God tattooed our names on there.
Brian: Inscribed.
Jacque: Inscribed, that would be another word.
Brian: That's a little bit deeper. It's kind of like branding.
Jacque: Oh wow. That's amazing. So God is for you. Just let that sink in. He's for you. I remember just a few years ago we started singing he is for you and people started saying, God is for you. I would think, well, not all the time.
Brian: Because all those exceptions started coming up in you.
Jacque: It takes a process to get all those thoughts out of your mind. He's always for us. He loves us 100% all the time.
Brian: He not only loves you. He actually likes you.
Jacque: He is very fond of me.
Brian: He is very fond of me. I like that word. I like that word, fond.
Jacque: Charlie and Mazzie go to River Tree and I was at their concert last month. It's a Christian school and they were singing. They sing so beautifully at that school. Here was Charlie standing with his class singing an old hymn that I had never heard before: God loves me so dearly. That line just kept being sung over and over. I videoed it and zoomed in on Charlie's little face singing, God loves me so dearly. I just thought, oh, look at how that is just being imprinted in his heart and in his mind. It really spoke to me. Children naturally respond to love. God he is calling us all to be children.
Brian: Unless a person becomes like a child— So he is calling us to become childlike again.
Jacque: So let him love you and then love him back. Love him back. He adores you. Adore him back. Don't paint a picture of God from the hurt in your life. Maybe you didn't have a loving and caring mom or dad. They were wounded. They were hurt. Hurting people hurt people. But don't view God in their image. Don't view God in their image. Don't paint a picture of God from your hurt.
Brian: That's really good. Say that again.
Jacque: Don't paint a picture of God in your mind from your hurt.
Brian: Has anybody been hurt here? We've all been hurt. And oftentimes, we take that hurt image and put it over God. And then it hinders everything.
Jacque: I listen to a story of a man who was a missionary's child and grew up over in New Guinea and the pain that he went through as a child. When he finally got this, he said, "I had to wipe the face of my dad off of God's face."
Brian: He learned how to do that, and then God came to him in different images, images that he could trust, ways and manners that he had an affinity or an affection for.
Jacque: There had been a neighbor lady who had loved him. 1:26:00 He would be beaten by his dad and this neighbor lady would bring him into her house and give him pie and love on him and tell him about Jesus.
Brian: It reminds me of our friend, Keith Tusi. Keith Tusi really grew up on the streets of Pittsburgh. For those of you who don't know who, he is a national pro-life leader, but has been a pastor for almost 50 years and father of eight loves his family. His father left him, abandoned him. Even as an adult, his dad never wanted to have anything to do with him. Keith sought him out to try and build a relationship and when the dad saw him, he said, blank, get out of here. What are you doing here? That type of thing. And so Keith never had an image of a father that was good and kind and loving. He was living on the streets of Pittsburgh, homeless, virtually and sleeping in his car. Two elderly ladies saw him sleeping in his car and went out and said, "Hey, would you like to have some breakfast?" and start to feed him? And then invite him in for spaghetti. Well, if you are Italian, you like spaghetti, right? And those ladies led him to the Lord and it completely changed the direction of his life. But God could not come to him in the image of his father. God came to him in the image of two elderly ladies that day.
Jacque: Ask God to paint a new picture of his love for you and give you a fresh understanding of how deep your creator loves you. God is determined to come to all people in a unique way to speak of his love. And as you ask him, he says, if you seek me, you'll find me. Search for me. We just have to ask him.
Brian: And he will come.
Jacque: He will come.
Brian: He will show himself to us in the best way that we will receive it.
Jacque: And then it's a supernatural thing. Read the next verse. I love this verse.
Brian: Romans 8:16.
Jacque: From the Passion translation
Brian: For the holy spirit makes God's fatherhood real to us as he whispers into our innermost being, you are God's beloved child. You are God's beloved child. The holy spirit will make God's fatherhood real to us as the holy spirit whispers into our innermost being you are God's beloved child.
Jacque: Yeah. It's so beautiful. But we have to listen, don't we? We have to listen for his voice. Parents are imperfect human beings. And if you are carrying wounds from your parents, I'm so sorry for this. Hurting people hurt people. We all have wounds of some sort. Michelle and I were talking about that Friday night. Everyone has some kind of a wound, but we don't have to stay wounded because God can heal us. One more aspect that messes up the image of God and people or the picture of God in people's minds is the church because the church, we are the church and at times we have not shown the love of God like we should.
Brian: Maybe some of you have been hurt and wounded by a pastor or church leadership in other churches. I would just say, maybe in a proxy type of way, I'm so sorry for that. But the scriptures say that God is going to give his people shepherds after God's own heart, and that there is safety in shepherds that honor God. I'm very sorry for those of you, some of you might be watching by livestream and some of you who are here who have been wounded and hurt by church leadership in the past. All I can say is please forgive us because those pastors were broken and wounded people too. We don't expect it from them, but it happens. So I ask you to release that and forgive that, not because they deserve it, but because I don't want you carrying that kind of weight and anchor with you the rest of your life.
Jacque: That's why we, the church, must all love. We have to love because we are God's representatives. We are his representatives on this earth. But the good news is this: you don't have to live in the hurt and the baggage of the past.
Brian: Isn't that good?
Jacque: Ah, God has done so much healing deep in my heart through the years and I'm so grateful. I'm so grateful. If you want more of God's love, if you want to release the hurts of the past whatever you need— We're going to ask pastor Robert to come in a moment and close us and I just ask him to pray with all of us together and just in a moment, God can begin the work. He can begin the work. That's beautiful.
Brian: And for those of you who are on our online community as well, we would ask you to reach out to us, text us, email us, get in touch with us any way that we can support you on your spiritual journey, your journey in really getting free from all this baggage and the wounds.
Jacque: Anyone here, we are available to talk and pray with you at any time. If you want to talk, we are here.
Brian: The good news again is you don't have to live with the wounds and hurts of someone who represented God to you, who was a bad image. Let's replace that bad image, like with Jacque. When her mom became that picture of God's unconditional love, that's when she began to truly understand it more clearly.
Jacque: Let God paint a new picture of his love for you.
Brian: I just want to say this about your dad. When he died, I think it was Pastor Jeff who might have had a vision of him kneeling at the cross and just weeping and after a period of time of weeping, he got up and he had the most incredible smile on his face because there is grace for everybody. There is grace for everybody. We say to one another, well, your dad is sorry now, and not in a vindictive way. But in a way that one of the first things that'll happen when you go to heaven is your dad will meet you there and he will say, "I'm so sorry; if I had known better, I would have done better. If I had known better, I would have done better."
Jacque: I'm so excited to see him. One more thing. I just want to encourage you moms and dads to just make sure your children know how much you love them, and your spouses. Everybody who is important in your life, make sure they know how much you love them. Don't just assume it; say it. Even if it's hard for you to say it, say it. Say it.
Brian: It gets easier the more you say it.
Jacque: It gets easier the more you say it. And you know what? Some people, you need to show it and then show it. Do things for people. I would encourage you to find that book, the love languages and find out how the people you love here love and then speak in their language.
Brian: Pastor Robert, would you come and pray, please?
Robert: Praise the Lord. I'm the Lord's servant, and I have business to do In a moment. I'm going to invite you into a prayer of healing and to receive the transforming power of God. But the prayer that I'm inviting you to participate in, it's a place of vulnerability because sometimes we hold things deep inside, out of pride and hurt and defense. We don't let anybody in that place. Oftentimes as ministers, we can look as we are up here and you are down here. So if you allow me for a moment, I'm going to enter into a place of vulnerability with you so that we can pray this prayer together. And so you know that I'm not coming from a place up here because I'm not perfect. I haven't been a perfect parent. My parents haven't been perfect, but I love them tremendously. I had a biological father that to this day, I'm 46 years old, I think I've only heard him say the words "I love you" twice in my life. But I know that my dad loves me. We have the greatest relationship as an adult now. I grew up with an alcoholic stepfather who was abusive, but he told me he loved me all the time and kissed me on the forehead. So I got that affection, even out of someone that was broken and hurting. He gave me what even my biological father didn't, who was the total opposite.
The consistent thing, I had a loving mom, almost loving to a fault. She would do anything for her children. She sacrificed everything for her children. Even to the point, if you could believe it for a minute, it brings resentment from me because not understanding how one human being loves another that much that you would go without and always paint a picture of peace and security even in the midst of chaos and struggle. So I come from a tough place parentally, but God, Most people struggle with their parents. There are those of you here today who struggle with your mom. It's Mother’s Day. You have issues. Some people, some mothers, some women today struggle with their fathers. You have issues, but God Can change that for you.
You see that alcoholic stepfather I talked to you about, he died a few years ago. Most people that grew up like we did would have issues, but God did an amazing thing. Years ago, when he was still alive, God allowed me to see him, how God sees him. I was able to speak at the funeral with the most loving of words. God allowed me to see beyond the negativity, beyond the abuse, beyond the verbal anger. I can tell you he was the only one that was at every one of my wrestling matches in high school, cheering me on, the only one. My mom, she was too wimpy. She couldn't come. I think she went to one match. That was it. But I was sitting there as a teenager, embarrassed, this guy, drunk, yelling and screaming at the top of his lungs. As a teenager, I was embarrassed. But as a man, there was a smile on my face.
I can polish shoes today because of that man. I can tie a tie because of that man. But see, on this Mother’s Day, God wants to do something in your life because sometimes we hear a message and you say, well, my mom wasn't like that. My mom's not like that. But God is. God is, and he wants to get a hold of you to look beyond their mishaps, their shortcomings, their failures. Because you may not have their shortcomings, but you have your shortcomings as well that affects your children just like their shortcomings affected you. So we are all in the same boat, just different manifestations.
All I'm asking you today is not to agree with what happened, but just to let it go and let God, to release anything you may be holding towards them and anger and bitterness and resentment and God forbid, the never ending question of why. I always tell people, leave the whys to the Lord because the whys for us can be a black hole. Just leave the whys to him and allow God to minister to you in such a way that there is nothing that was done, could be done, will be done that could affect the way you love today. That's how my heart is free. That's why I'm able to love everybody and love on everybody, because my heart is free. God did a tremendous work where I don't hold onto things with people. I'm free. My heart is freed up to love you. So it's not a pretense when you see me smiling, hugging you and greeting you. It's because God has taken a sorrowful kid and given him the greatest joy in my life. And I want you to experience that for the rest of your life.
If you are ready for that, I want you to join in. Our online community, those here in the house, I want you to join me in this prayer, but I want to do this act of faith first. Today, since it's Mother’s Day, I'll just deal with the mothers. Maybe we'll do something with the fathers later, but today, I'm your mother. I'm your mother today. As your mother, I'm asking you to forgive me for every hurt, for every disappointment, for every rejection, for every harsh word, for every abandonment, anything that was profane, anything physical, I'm sorry. I ask you to forgive me and I ask you to release me from your heart. I ask you to allow God To heal you wherever those wounds may be. I would like us to pray together. Please repeat this prayer wherever you are after me.
Dear Jesus, thank you that you showed us that you showed us the love of the father, that he encompasses, that he encompasses all the love of a mother and a father, all in one. Lord, I pray that you would heal me from every wound from my mother. I pray that instead of being bitter, I will become better. I pray that today starts a new day where my heart can beat freely so I can freely love others and pass on the love of Christ to my children and my children's children in Jesus' mighty name. Amen.
If you pray that prayer today, I just want to pray that today is a day of healing for the rest of your life and that those things that you laid down today, don't pick them up. It's not worth it. And those places where you have concerns and the whys, just leave the whys to God and just say, I love you, I forgive and just move forward. I guarantee that you will be strengthened and you'll be able to love more and more as God continues to work through you. God bless you. Amen.
Jacque: As mothers, we can use our nurturing hearts to touch so many lives because there are so many young men and women that need that example of a mother. I'm thinking of so many people who are reaching out to others, college-age students. As you see somebody, just be praying for them and just be watching for opportunities to show the love of God and to help them heal.
Brian: We will have people here at the altar. If any of you like some additional prayer after the service, we'll have prayer teams here at the altar to pray with you. We also want to invite you, who would like to have communion after the service. Dave and Deb Thompson will be serving communion today. Thank you for celebrating the love of our Jesus Christ with us today here at Hope Community and for celebrating Mother’s Day. We just pronounce a blessing on all of you, mothers, and thank you for how you represent God in heaven. Let's lift our hands together.
Now, may the Lord bless you and may the Lord keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and may his face turn in your direction. And may you feel his presence and know his love in a way that you've never known before. This we pray the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Amen. God bless you. Have a wonderful, wonderful day. Again, if you need prayer, we'll have people here at the altar to pray for you. God bless you.
Transcript taken from the Sunday morning service 5-8-22. If you would like to watch the full service, click the link below.